"A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit, and a violin. What else does a man need to be happy?"
February is here, and with it the season of love! Maybe you enjoy everything romantic, and I'm not just talking about the musical time period! I recently read a hilarious post called "8 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an Organist," which inspired me to write this blog.
1. You need to live on European or South American time: Dinner starts whenever we have finished teaching our students, practicing, or meeting with prospective clients. It may be later if we have rehearsals or a concert. Better yet, just plan on cooking for yourself! As my violin teacher Aunt Valerie said to her husband, it's a YOYO night. "You're on your own!"
2. Plan an escape room where you can block out the noise of beginning violin students. Uncle Brian had an entire room where musicians were not allowed to enter and bother him. (We broke this rule frequently.) This room may be your study, basement, or if these are still too close, the garage (my husband's favorite place to hide.)
3. You have a large role to play at home recitals: Vacuum the house, set up at least 25 chairs, keep your own children quiet, clean up, and prepare a special treat for the guests. My uncle was famous for his green lime sherbet punch at the St. Patty's Day recitals. Following in this vein, I was impressed at one of my recent recitals when my husband decided to roast marshmallows with the kids in our backyard. He also scored points by setting up a beanbag toss to play with the students and their siblings while I chatted with the parents! Creativity is key!
4. Sometimes date night means dressing up to go sit alone at a concert where your spouse is performing. It may be sad to sit by your lonely self, but at least you can see your talented spouse on stage! You can always brag that you are with one of the violinists. If you behaved well at the concert (not too much texting or scrolling on your phone), you might get to grab dessert with your special someone afterwards!
5. Don't touch their instrument until you have been together at least a year; maybe two, or perhaps five. After that, you will probably become their roadie for all concerts, in which you will be expected to carry the instrument, music stand, music bag, and possibly an amp and microphones. You will most likely be asked to serve as photographer, videographer, and sound engineer as well.
6. Be adaptable. This may mean traveling with the violinist across the globe for a concert or gig. I will always remember leaving my husband with my friend's dad in France while I had to play a wedding, and although the two didn't speak the same language, they decided to go to the hardware store together to pick out tools. Apparently music isn't the only universal language!
7. Get used to sitting alone at church. The moment your organist or praise team director discovers your spouse plays violin, he or she will probably be playing in the balcony or on stage more than sitting with you in the pew.
8. If your significant other is female and top-notch at playing, you should not refer to her as ever having served as a mistress when you meant to say "concert mistress." Just say "concert master," and your life will be easier.
9. Become familiar with the parts of the violin. What may seem scandalous to you might not be as bad as it sounds in the violin world!
10. Be their biggest fan. Nothing says you love your violinist more than telling them how wonderful they performed at a concert. (Even if they missed their shift to the high note...) Violinists want to know that you appreciate their music, because it's a huge part of their identity!
I want to take time to thank the men in our lives: Dr. Stacy Peterson, Dr. Robert Rescot, Mr. Ben Lutz, and Mr. Forrest Parr, as well as our Uncle Brian Sullivan, for the countless hours you have given to serving the musicians in your lives. Although you work behind the scenes, we could never do it without you!